Redd Visit: day 2

Though I had known about our talk assignment for a few days, it had been such a busy week that I hardly had a moment to think about it. My head felt fuzzy from going to bed so late so many nights in a row and I wasn't making any progress in my preparation, so I showered and went to bed around 10:00 last night, hoping I could get up early this morning and my mind would be clearer. I was blessed by the Spirit and was able to pretty much write my entire talk in about 20 minutes while I waited for Becky to pick me up for ward council. I attended my meeting, then, since the Redd's were here, Matthew and I were able to sit together on the stand. I spoke about being where we're supposed to be when we're supposed to be there and Matthew's talk was based on President Uchtdorf's talk A Matter of a Few Degrees. The talks went well and I've received a lot of really positive feedback that it was just what so-and-so needed to hear. I'm grateful for the opportunity to really rely on the Spirit, as I'm usually quite a planner.

The rest of church was fine, we had sandwiches and left over artichoke dip for lunch, then the afternoon was spent resting and playing board games. John and Hyrum got along so well and played three different games without either of them fighting or ending up in tears. Esther was still not feeling well, so Kristine spent much of the afternoon and evening tending to her.

Ryan was making chicken soup when I left at 5:15 to attend the stake Self Reliance fireside. I went to the information meeting for ward council members two weeks ago and thought perhaps the starting your own business class might be a great opportunity for me. The fireside was a little more intense than I anticipated and by the end of it I found myself not only signed up for the course, but recruited as the facilitator for it. I stayed after for a brief training and was sent home with manuals and responsibilities and an uneasy, heavy feeling in my heart. I'd really like to start a quilting business, but more with the aim of supporting my hobby and less with the goal of being able to support myself or my family. Matthew and I talked about it before bed and agreed that the trajectory this class would put me on was not really on par with putting a few baby blankets on Etsy to help me pay for my pastime. Matthew has a well paying, stable job and Mercy is still at home. As a wife and mother, I don't need to be financially self reliant right now. I need to be home and focused on my family. I prayed and felt Heavenly Father telling me that my sewing is meant to be fun and make me happy. This course would not be fun nor would it make me happy, but I was free to choose for myself. I felt such a weight lifted from me when I decided not to continue with the program. Though it was another late night, I went to bed feeling lighter and more at ease than I had in two weeks.