Half Way There

29 days down, only 29 more to go until Matthew comes home!

It appears to be something of a pattern with Hyrum that after about 3-4 weeks with no Daddy he starts to get really angry and aggressive. I don't know that I really made the connection until this fourth trip, but I'm seeing all of the same behavioral issues we've dealt with before during Matthew's absence. Before I just thought he was acting out, but I'm beginning to catch the connection between events that set him off. For example, the last three major tantrums were about his Iron Man underwear being in the wash and therefore unavailable for use, a piece of toilet paper being flushed and therefore lost and gone forever, and his bath water being drained rendering it also lost and gone forever. I don't think it takes a genius to see the similarities. I feel so sad for my poor three year old who can't quite understand why his Daddy left one day and never came back, and is taking it out on every little thing that might possibly disappear as well. He does get to Skype with Matthew nearly every day, and I think that's why he's done so well for so long, but still, as he states every day, "Daddy's not at Hyrum's house."

Considering how he must be feeling, I am able to be a bit more patient. Contrary to popular belief, I'm nowhere near perfect, but I have been much more sympathetic. Each day I try to make sure to spend some quality one on one time with each boy, doing something they enjoy. Hyrum mostly likes to talk to me, and Abraham wants to sit in my lap and be held (he literally grabs my arms and puts them around him.) I also try to keep the days full and at least mildly exciting to help the time pass. Sometimes Hyrum just needs to cry it out, in which case I sit with him until he's ready to be done. Routines are good, and lots of music helps. We're over the hump now though, so it's all downhill from here...