Abide with me

Saturday night I was holding Hyrum when he started choking. He turned bright red and wasn't breathing. We slapped him on the back a few times, he threw up and everything was fine, but my poor boy looked so distressed. He had had a somewhat rough evening and he just looked so sad. I don't know if I've ever loved anything more in my whole life than I loved him in that moment. I wanted nothing more than to hold him close all night and I'd have done anything in the world to make everything better. It was a new kind of love that perhaps I've felt in small degrees before, but never really comprehended. In church the next day we sang 'Abide with me 'tis eventide' and my soul was filled with understanding and such deep gratitude.

Abide with me; 'tis eventide. The day is past and gone;
The shadows of the evening fall; The night is coming on.
Within my heart a welcome guest, within my home abide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; behold, 'tis eventide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; behold, 'tis eventide.

Abide with me; 'tis eventide. Thy walk today with me
Has made my heart within me burn, as I communed with thee.
Thy earnest words have filled my soul and kept me near thy side.
O Savior, stay this night with me; behold, 'tis eventide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; behold, 'tis eventide.

Abide with me; 'tis eventide, and lone will be the night
If I cannot commune with thee, nor find in thee my light.
The darkness of the world, I fear, would in my home abide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; behold, 'tis eventide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; behold, 'tis eventide.

I have felt the Lord hold me through the night and make everything better. I could, before, only imagine the love my Father in Heaven has for me as one of His children. I still cannot probably grasp the perfect love He has for us, but being a mother, now I understand so much more. My little son has no idea how dearly I love him nor the sacrifices I would make for him. I am so grateful for Christ and the sacrifices He has made for me.


In other news, Matthew and I had a fantastic weekend at a cabin in the mountains near Heber. Matthew's aunt and uncle invited as many of the extended family as could come, and representatives from five families made it up. There was good food, snowmobiling, and game playing. It was nice to get away for a change in scenery. It was really cold though, at least Saturday night when we were leaving, and Hyrum was not a fan of that. Speaking of Hyurm, he has become quite the whiny little boy. He'll be fed, changed, and have just woken up from a nice nap but will scream and cry unless being held. As soon as he's in someones lap he smiles and coos, but leave him alone and he thinks it's the end of the world. There has also been a noticeable increase in spit-up and drool. His appetite is also increasing, and I'm having a hard time keeping up with his stomach. He's learning to focus on things though which is fun to watch. He spent a good 10 minutes this afternoon staring at something (I think perhaps his feet). Matthew and I were both successful in our goal to not watch tv. I seem to have gotten a lot more done, and felt much better about my use of time. As for my "free time", I took up a long lost but well loved hobby of reading and finished the Hobbit. I've started the first Lord of the Rings and so far am enjoying the story. As far as family news, we found out that we didn't get into Princeton. The letter (email) said they didn't have the funding to admit the students they have in the past. We're not sure if that means they aren't taking anyone, or if they would have accepted us if there was more money, or if it was just an excuse for rejecting us. Any way you look at it, we won't be moving to New Jersey.