The Dream

A couple nights ago, I had a dream:

All around, the world kept telling us that we needed to get a ticket from the microwave. That was how we'd be happy. As a family, we decided to go. We got on an elevator that opened up to a gray room. From there we got on a crowded escalator, then a slow moving sidewalk, then figured out we were supposed to join a winding long line. The further along we went, everything became black and white, including the people. We didn't eat or sleep or do anything but stand in line. We came to understand that we would do nothing but stand in line until we reached the microwave. There we could get a ticket to our final destination. It was guaranteed that we wouldn't get the worst, but it was also impossible to get the best. It felt like we'd been there several hours, but we were shocked to discover we'd been there for two months - just standing in line. We talked to the kids about our options. Standing in line was easy. It wasn't awful, but it wasn't fun, and we couldn't get the best if we stayed. If we left and went back, we'd have to work, but we could get the best. It would be harder, but we could also have fun and feel joy. We could eat delicious food and cuddle in warm beds. We could camp and hike and fish. When Hyrum remembered fishing, he was out of there. We decided as a family to leave. We got out of line and walking back past all the gray people, returned to the elevator. Four of us got on. I couldn't tell if it was Mercy or Abraham, but one of them stood in the gray room conflicted. Standing in line was easy. They didn't get in and the doors closed. We rode the elevator heartbroken. The doors opened and the world was once again in bright color. We stood in a beautiful green field wondering what to do next, when the elevator door opened and our third child was there. We reunited with so much joy and I woke up.

***

When we first got down to the gray place, our goal was to get to the microwave. We were focused and driven and walked past a lot of people standing in line. Once we figured out there was a line and we joined it, a sense of complacency set in. We weren't all that bothered that we never seemed to get closer to our destination.

While we were in line, Mercy and Abraham had found a couple other little kids and they were interacting. They weren't exactly having fun, but they were sufficiently distracted. I think they had a hard time leaving in part because they didn't know they weren't actually happy. Hyrum, on the other hand, knew he could be happier (fishing) and wasn't at all satisfied with standing in line. As a parent, it is my job to teach my children the difference between true happiness and the distractions that the world offers. 

I remember looking down at myself standing in line, and knowing that wasn't what I wanted. I suppose it was something of a lucid dream at that point, and I remember making the choice to leave. I know this life can be hard. Just because the path is straight and narrow, doesn't mean that it won't at times be steep. I want the best destination at the end of it though, and I want to have joy along the way.