It's just about the most beautiful day ever, so in my never ending quest to avoid cleaning the bathroom, Hijo and I threw on some sweaters and set out for an afternoon walk. I've actually needed this walk for a couple days now, as I've been feeling a little down. My bleak outlook on life began when I found out my friend Jennie and her little family are moving to India for six months next year. I would love to live abroad and India is about as high on my list of places to visit as you can get. I've also taken to listening to Radio Disney while I do things like fold laundry and pay bills. As silly as it is, I admit I've always harbored a secret hope that someday I'd be "discovered" and then swept off to Hollywood to become the next big teen pop sensation. The trouble with that little daydream is two fold: I'm 28, and I have no musical or otherwise marketable talent to speak of. I'm also 5 feet tall, so pretty much a career as Hannah Montana or America's Next Top Model are both out. Not that I seriously wish for either, but sometimes I need a little reminder that while living in Indiana as a wife and mother is far from glamorous, it really is a pretty great life.
Once I was again happy to be who and where I am, I got to thinking about other mothers out there, who are also not living in exotic foreign places or recording hit songs with the Jonas Brothers. I thought about my friend Hannah who has her etsy shop, and my friend Liz who is writing some pretty impressive fanfic, and then of course there's NieNie who was a fascinating woman even before the accident. I thought of all these remarkable women doing remarkable things. What about me? I'm a remarkable woman doing... nothing really. I'm remarkably proud of myself when I get the laundry washed and folded within 24 hours of each other, but that's hardly anything to write Oprah about.
So my walk this afternoon was mostly about clearing my head of the idea that I need (or even want) to be somewhere else doing the same remarkable things as the women I look up to. I will likely never be even remotely famous, and that is okay. Did you hear that world? I'm okay with that. I'm not so okay with doing nothing though. I have yet to figure out how the cleaning and cooking and diaper changing and every other not so exciting part of my housewifely duties are to get done while still leaving me time to pick a talent to develop, but apparently it's possible. The sunshine and fresh fall breeze have given me perspective and some incentive to do something remarkable. I'll let you know how that goes... after I clean the bathroom.
3 comments:
Jules, I cannot believe you included me on your list of remarkable women doing remarkable things. Can you come over and tell me that every day? JUST TODAY I was thinking the same things you mentioned - I haven't made millions with my writing, I'm not going anywhere fantastic, etc. And I want to do those awesome things RIGHT NOW! But of course, I would miss my Mark and my girls so much if things were different...and I guess we just need that reminder again and again and again, huh? I just love you too too much and truly: know you are incredibly remarkable.
Oh, and we all understand the Radio Disney thing. I think we all have the same secret dream. :-)
Going to India doesn't make me remarkable. It is an amazing experience I am excited for, but I will be thinking the same things over there as I change diapers and fret over the laundry in a foreign country. I too wonder how the dishes pile up so fast, how to come up with something for dinner, and how the laundry never gets folded the same day. You will have your experiences too. Maybe you can convince Matthew that you need to come visit me over there :)
I oftentimes feel average. I oftentimes wish I was in a different place (Paris, for example). I oftentimes neglect laundry and dishes. I am average. I oftentimes wish I could re-live the glory days of my stage days. But I also believe there is a time and a season for everything, including developing talents. You'll find your niche. I think it's hard moving to a new place and finding your groove. How exciting too!
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